It’s good to read in this era of celebrity break-ups that Simon Cowell is getting married.

Pals have warned Cowell of the seven-year itch, which all marriages suffer, and the seven-year hitch, which is what his trousers suffered.

The X-Factor guru and his squeeze Mezhgan have a lot in common. She loves him and he loves him.

Mezhgan comes from Afghanistan and over the years has had her bellyful of intense suffering and man’s inhumanity to man. So she has vowed to stay away from X-Factor auditions in future.

Simon hasn’t named a date for the wedding – he wasn’t aware you could take one – but bookies Boylesports are nonethe-less betting on who his best man will be.

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The trouble with being best man at a wedding is you never get a chance to prove it. If you’re the best man, why she’s marrying him? to avoid confusion, Cowell is changing custom for his wedding by appointing a second-best man.

Cowell refused to disclose on an American chat show this week how he proposed to Mezhgan, but I’ve been told he merely said: “You’re through to the final.”

Fortunately he didn’t ask her: “Where do you see yourself in three years’ time?” he might have got the reply: “In your house with half your money.”

The signing of a pre-nup is weighing heavily on Cowell’s mind, although not as heavily as the signing of Steve Brookstein.

His brother Nicolas is 15-8 favourite to get the best man gig, with Nigel Lythgoe 7-2. then it’s 4-1 Tony Cowell (halfbrother), 9-2 Michael Cowell (half-brother), and 7-1 Piers Morgan (half-wit).

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Simon Cowell's star role in the hitch factor